Welcome to the site. You are in our prayers. I too have danced with that insidious plague that is crystal meth, but I survived, and today I am almost six months clean and sober. Besides myself I have several friends that I ran with when I was active and our paths crossed again through the doors of some recovery programs and they too have recovered from that same plague. I would suggest seeing a doctor. I know for my situation they were able to put me on some brain chemistry rehabilitation drugs along with a healthy dose of some vitamins that I felt had a major impact on my thought patterns. Take care and keep your chin up.