This is abuse, pure and simple. You cannot rely on him - you are only endangering yourself and your daughter. Please read these stickies:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html and get in touch with your local Domestic Violence place. I found that when I tried to detach etc, it just cause STBXAH to ramp up the level of abuse. It wasn't appropriate in my situation and it sounds like it it isn't in your's too. I was oblivious to the danger I was placing myself in. Please get f2f help before it gets any worse! (((hugs)))