It doesn't sound like you are done with it. When I was done there was no choice. I was quite literally beat down by the struggle of it. Trying to hide how much I drank and whether I would or wouldn't. It felt like chains wearing me down more and more each and every day.
Today I feel very happy about my decision to live a sober life. It has given me time to develop myself and to learn who I am. When I was drinking I felt like I had put my life and my growth on pause. I am now on the play mode and it is so much better.
You will wake up one day and you too will decide enough is enough. If you find at that point you can't stop on your own you will seek recovery. You will find any means of stopping the insanity. Until that point it is up to you. We can tell you our stories, but it has to resonate from within you.