I mainly lurk here now but I have to chime in....
Beligerent,
I loved your post. I was pinched in April of 2008 for a DUI and that was the catalyst to get me back in AA and I have been sober since. About six months into sobriety I stopped daydreaming about assault on a Massachusetts State Trooper. About a year sober I came to realize it was the best thing to ever happen to me. Now if you said to me then that I would say that now I would have called BS.
The whole gratitude thing gets lost on me. Guess I don't often feel it. Not there yet :-) But I have accepted that I'm a drunk and that I have a booze problem, alcohol (a DUI) had to be the final convincer. (after hospitalizations, lost jobs, relationships, family put through hell etc.) I was unreasonable and had to be put into a place of reasonableness, the frothy emotional appeals never worked. So in a really strange way I am happy it happened, it saved my life. Again, if some dude said what I am saying now when I was 5 days sober I would have told him to "F" off...... but I stuck around to gain the luxury of hindsight. Nothing too complex, stayed sober and did AA and I am now able to look at things with more clarity.
Please keep venting, venting early on also saved my life. Going to AA and telling people where I was at saved my life....
Never apoligize for talking or venting.
It was awesome to read your post.
Regards,
Chops
PS even with everything I said above being 100% true, I still get pissed at that cop now and again.....