Hi Daphne,
I'm not an alcoholic but a recovering codeine addict but I also have liver damage.
My liver damage was one of the many reasons I gave up the pills, I didn't want to die horribly of liver failure as has been described very clearly by some wise posters before me.
Do you want that to happen to you and put your family through that, do you want to put yourself through that?
I now take a liver tonic 3 times a day, because I can't give medical advice I can't tell you what it is but you can google natural liver tonics and find one for yourself or speak to a doctor or naturopath.
Honey, you're worth more than the way you are treating yourself right now. I know how hard it is when you rely on a substance, especially if you're not sure if you actually have a problem. [I wasn't sure at first either]
I know what it is like to have a responsible position work wise and be worried about admitting you have a problem, I was a customer service manager at a bank at the height of my addiction so I understand how you feel. I also understand it must be even harder for you because of the field you work in.
NA has helped me so much. Why not go to a AA meeting out of your home town where no-one will know you, just make the commitment to go to 1 first off. Listen to the other people there and see what you think, you may be surprised to find you have things in common with them, many people there will be high functioning like you.
Take it day by day, you said you're not gonna drink today, that's amazing! Tomorrow see if you can do it again. See if you can get to a meeting, just to check it out.
You have received so much great advice from people that know far more than me on this subject. I just jumped in because I care and am worried about the liver issue.
Much Love,
Faerie x