It is scary, very much so.
Nothing will change though if you don't. I know I can't do it on my own and no I don't have anyone around me that understands or even wants to understand. Most people don't know. The only thing I do have is SR and for the time being it works. My friends on the other side of the world know because I told them; yet they still forward emails about drinking and booze to me. We are alone unless we find others that go through the same. Other alcoholics/addicts that understand. They have to become our family until we are fully recovered and beyond. I stopped looking for understanding within family, circle of friends, etc. They don't and I can't blame them.
Please stay with SR and do keep posting. We are all here to support you.