New here and taking the plunge
Well here goes...I came into these forums incredibly nervous to post, but after reading so many stories that I could relate to I decided to take the plunge. So Hello everyone!
To put it in a nutshell for now, I am a young woman struggling with prescription drug addiction (sadly so common these days) I did a 3 month stent of sobriety but just couldn't maintain because I was sure I could "handle it myself, I didn't have time for meetings, I don't want anyone to know" and pretty much every other stupid excuse I could try to justify (lie) to myself with.
Even though I am young and should be in the prime of my youth I feel incredibly deteriorated and just a shell of my former goal driven and cheerful self. I am SICK of my entire world revolving around my drug supply, the anxiety of being without it, the money, the lies ALL of it just has to go. Something must change for me or I fear that I will look back 20 years from now and realize I have sunk all my money and all my youthful years into something that is going to end up killing me. That I will continue spiraling down until the few friends and family (that are still talking to me) are gone for good.
But I am scared of the change, I fear facing the world and my problems without my fix. It's that fear of change that has kept me from getting serious before, can I function without those pills after so long? Right now, I don't care, this is something that must be done for my own survival and I will do whatever it takes to make it
Thank you so much to everyone for their honesty, which has in turn inspired mine.