KenL

Translation:

"Here's my problem, if I keep drinking and keep trying to ignore the problems in my life I will keep drinking indefinately."

Sorry if this is too technical or deals a bit too much with symantics. It's just that sometimes we miss that which is in our face and staring us down. There's a reason for why the phrase "vicious cycle" was coined. Breaking the cycle involves confronting problems and reaching solutions. I know it's hard. You're in a really tough spot right now and it seems like there's no way out. But there is. Within you lies the power and ability to overcome your situation and turn things around. Face your problems beginning with the alcoholism. Once you stop that you will find that the other problems will be easier to deal with. Stopping drinking isn't just a "one shot" deal. It's ongoing. If you have a history of trying to stop, as I do, then there is a problem. Sometimes I look back on my "career" and I just shake my head and say to myself, "It's enough, Ken."

So start with stopping drinking. Make that your number 1 goal. Don't let all the other stuff compound the problem. Just focus on not drinking for now. In time, hopefully, you'll move out of your parent's house and get a place of your own. Perhaps you'll find another person to love as well. But just focus on stopping the drinking. That has to be the most important thing in your life for now. I know it is for me, every day.

God be with you.