I relate to what you said a lot, lost. I was my little brother's protector too, and was always making plans for us to go somewhere safe.
I try, too, to focus on myself and say that I am responsible for my drinking and the past is the past, etc... but those nasty old dark things will find a way in no matter what I do via dreams or stumbling across a reminder like you did.
There is a difference between blaming someone else for my drinking and examining events that shaped me as a person. I try to just look at the events and how they affected me and not think about the adults invloved, what they were thinking, whether they have remorse, etc. that's none of my business nor do I think it would help me to know.
Hang in there, and I agree with Dee- go at your own pace, it's a process.