So much guilt, shame and remorse is echoing through
my mind today. I didn't attend the usual ladies
craft group today in the compound. It was at a new location
last week and the host is a big drinker and a trigger for me.....
Yep, I ended up going home very loaded that day! I also helped myself
to the last serving of rum, returning the empty bottle to the pantry. So do
they know that *I* emptied that bottle? This has been so heavy on
my mind today.....so I avoid the whole group of ladies! Only going over for 1 minute to
drop off a couple things. They invited me to stay for lunch, I did BUT was
very uncomfortable.....I couldn't wait to get away from them!! Plus I had seen them
at the New Years party where I was loaded again.......
I am sure they think of me as the neighborhood drunk.......
Ugh, I am sooooo sick of me and who I am when I drink!!
I do NOT want to start isolating.....I would rather hide then deal with
anything......maybe that is just how I feel on the end of my Day 3?