38 days down the drain. So much lost over one night.
Kjell those days will never be lost, sit down in a quiet spot and pray that you can be honest with your self. Now go over what you were doing RIGHT during those 38 days, perhaps write them down. Now comes the tough part look over with all the self honesty you can muster and see if you stopped doing anything that was keeping you sober or that which you may have down "Half arse"..... keep in mind that "Half measures availed use nothing."
The reason as you already have said is with in you.
After this sit down with your sponsor, let him know where you feel you were lacking.
Are you calling people EVERY day besides your sponsor?
I used to think when I called some one in the fellowship I was bugging them, then I found a lot of them were thanking me for calling them.... Today I have people call me as well as me calling folks. When people call me they help me, they are not a bother, they are a pleasure & I am honored they would call me.
You have got some sage suggestions here, keep in mind that in AA it is one alcoholic helping another alcoholic to stay sober, not just one sponsor helping one alcoholic.
Reach out Kjell, you help others and it helps you even more.