I have been addicted to percocet since 2007. I now take 150 10/325 mg pills every month, which I get from my pain management doctor. I had an MRI done, which showed extensive nerve and muscle damage in my back, plus I have arthritis in my knees. I started out taking the pills as prescribed, but you know the story...before I knew it I was taking more and more and more, and now I find myself lost in a sea of pills.
My life is no longer mine anymore. All I want to do is take these pills. I can't even get out of bed in the morning before I take a pill. I have not been living, just existing. The only person who knows about my addiction is my husband. He has been supportive but does not really know what to do other than offer words of encouragement. Of course, he is a smoker, so he knows what being addicted to something is like. I am still blessed to have him though. I am so ashamed of my behavior, and I want my life back.
I'm so glad to have discovered this site with people who have been where I am at now. My next doctor's appointment is January 18th, and of course, instead of taking 5 pills per day as prescribed, I will be down to taking 1 or 2 a day, because I will have used more than I was supposed to.
I did a cold-turkey withdrawal for 5 days back in September 2009, and it was the worse thing I have ever been through in my life. It was so bad that instead of me completing it, I called the doctor to change my appointment so I could come in earlier because I had not had a pill in 5 days. I was so disappointed in myself, because I believe I would be well into recovery if I had not given up.
I realize that the only way is to go cold-turkey, because if there are pills anywhere in the house I will take them. I am just so fearful of withdrawal that I don't want to go through it again. I know that ultimately the decision to become drug-free is mine alone to make. Please pray for me to gain the courage and determination I need to stop this vicious drug abuse cycle.
...Love you all.
