Hey there Me. Just reading this thread and wanted to say good luck on your quest. I also am motivated to make things better for my kids. They don't need to learn from my behavior, especially when I have blessed them with the gene of alcoholism. Over my last five weeks of sobriety, I think I have made a lot of changes for the better in my relationships with my children. I am more rational and less judgemental and quick-tempered. Unfortunately, my head is still messed up, but I suspect it will be for some time. This just reminds me that while my intentions are to also get well for the sake of my wife and kids, my number one priority is to get well for me. I tried tapering. I tried abstaining for a few days to clear my head, but when it all came down to it, I realized I could not. I am an alcoholic. I realize now that I am working on a life-long commitment to myself and others. It scares the **** out of me, but the simple "one day at a time" motto help bring things back into focus.
I put myself into AA, knowing that I had tried all else and a full-blown rehab would most likely bankrupt us in the end. So far, things are going well, but as I said, I am still scared spitless at times and have to reign myself in by just thinking about the present, not the future. I am a "projector" at heart and always looking ahead, so this is no easy undertaking, but if I can bring myself back to the "now", things get better.
I wish you the best of luck. Just remember, there are plenty more of us out there plugging away at this issue along with you. Take care~GQ