I don't really know what to change. THe main problem I think is just wanting the desire to go away. I will be healthy and happy (reasonably) and then husband will tempt me. He is not such a good influence on me. So, I either need to separate myself from the desire or him. And I don't want to from him at all. He has promised not to bring them around me. He does not have the same problem with them like I do. They take over me. While he has other things in his life to distract himself with. Work, hobbies, friends. I am a stay at home mom. Maybe it's time to put the baby in daycare? I don't know. Totally rambling.