Newcomer- AGAIN. Oxymoron no pun intended
So, as you can tell from my join date, I'm not new to this recovery thing. I have detoxed about a billion times. Each time, I cry in agony, "I'm never going to do this to myself again!". And then a couple of weeks later, I'm feeling fine, decide I can have one little pill. . to make more playful. Happier. Like everyone else. And then of course, it all starts over again.
For the past 6 years I've taken on and off 8 or 9 vicodin. On my darkest days, 15. I want to know what it's like to feel normal AND happy. On my own. For good. I just don't have faith in myself or goodness or dare I say God?
Thank you for listening. Maybe I'll get it right this time.