I will miss you guys!!
Well, My internet was shut off yesterday. So I am not sure when I will be able to get back on agqin. I am not sure if the sober house has internet or not. I seen a computer in a common area but dont know if its connected.
My family is so happy I am doing this. And as scared as I am. I also have a feeling of peace and relief. My cousin is moving maybe a mile down the road today. So I can have someone close when I get some freedom.
Even my one aunt who is a super hard ass called and told me she was proud of me for doing this.
I have admitted aloud to everyone that I just cant do this on my own anymore. I never could. But now I accept that.
6 to 9 mos seems like a long time. But its nothing compared tot he years I have spent destroying myself and trying to do this by myself.
On march 14th 2007 I found this site while I was waiting to go to my first ever rehab. And the love, support and understanding I have found here is amazing.
I have learned so much here. Not only about myself and my recovery. But how one addict can learn and grow and find the support they need from others like us.
But most of all. I learned that we arent broken. We as addicts are never too far gone. We are not bad people, we just make bad decisions. And we are all worthy to give ourselves another chance at life. There is always hope. I dont care if you are 10 or 100 yrs old. Been using for an hour or a lifetime.
Any one of us can do it when we make that decision to finally let go, accept how things are. And do whatever we have to do to make it better.
I honestly have so much love for this site and everyone here. I have gotten to know all of you on a deep, personal level. It doesnt get any more raw then admitting the things you do here.
I will miss all of you so much. I cant wait to check in and tell you guys how things are going.
I may be able to check back in tomorrow or Monday before I go. But I have to be there MOnday morning by 10am.
Until then. Everyone make this new year and decade count. We are worthy and capable of anything we put our minds and hearts into.
Be safe, stay sober. Much much love...