Thanks everyone,
Sugah, Yes I am a little scared about not ever taking anything ever again. I already have cravings, I guess thats what this is. My mouth waters at the thought of taking an opiate. It is rough, very rough. I just keep telling myself it will pass, and that I DO NOT want to go through all of this all over again. (Physical Withdrawal part.) Mental will be forever I guess... sigh..
small quick update, 48 hours done! Have wanted to end the misery with just one, but have not. I have a horrible headache, the tummy problems are at bay today though, not going to the bathroom every 5 minutes, but the dizzy, spinning, think I am going to throw up, is here more then yesterday. My legs, HURT, a lot. Everytime I feel like giving up I force myself on the treadmill with my ipod of songs, I have never forced myself to exercise when in WD before, and I really believe it is helping. Did not sleep last night at all layed down, at 10:30, up at 11, down, up, down, up, over and over again. Finally about 5 am am I feel to sleep and stayed to sleep until 8:45 am, kids where up and wanting their mom's company.
***Possitive: I laugh with my kids, and I really feel them, and their innocence, I feel bad that for most of my baby's (who isnt really a baby anymore, he is almost 5, but will always be my baby) life, I have been numbing myself from reality. I was numbing the bad, painful parts, but in doing that, I also numbed out, the truley good parts too.