Hi Hansen - My drinking wasn't fun. To be quite honest with you drinking was so much more boring then sober living. I mean come 4 or 5 pm I would start with my first glass and it wouldn't end until I went to bed or passed out. I watched tv and isolated in my bedroom. I wasn't one to go out of the house because then I would have to drive and I wasn't into that. I was trying to fill a void at the time and didn't realize it wasn't something I could fill with alcohol.
I stopped drinking and started to grow up and discover myself. I actually liked myself which was revelation #1. Why would I slowly kill someone I liked? I wouldn't and I wouldn't want to watch someone else slowly kill themselves either and that is what my husband and son were doing. They were watching their wife and mom slowly killing herself with alcohol and that was revelation #2.
When the fog cleared and I was actually able to evaluate my life, oh, the things I discovered were heartbreaking, but changeable and being changeable was where I was focusing. I am a human being that was born to accomplish something in life. I am working on revelation #3 and that is finding where my passion lies and how I can use it to benefit others. I am tired of taking up space in this world.
Hope you find your answers in 2010. God bless.