Thanks for the responses.
I stuck around AA for 90 days, had a sponsor, worked the steps and went to different meetings every day. It didn't help at all. I've tried several therapists. Now I'm unemployed, so rehab and counseling are out - not that they worked anyway. I feel like I've been desperate to stop for a while, but nothing seems to work. Maybe I just need to find the will, but after so many years I fear it will never come. I've been told I need to hit bottom, but if arrests, unemployment, car crashes and hospitalizations aren't bottom, I don't know where it is. I've lost everything.