Guilty as charged
I trying to set a boundary for a sane, safe & reasonable life, particularly where there are children involved, then I am also guilty of the same. I "controlled and bullied" and tried to get him to see reason for too long. It has taken a toll on my personal well-being.
The problem for me now is being in a position to follow through which I am totally serious and planning to do. I have unfortunately given up hope of being able to help and get him to "see the light" I have finally been learning about the Al-Anon "Let Go and Let GOD" approach. It has been more peaceful while I make my preparations...not perfect, but not as continuously horrible as before. I guess it takes practice and some days we are better at it than others.
Breathe, try to relax and have a good evening.