About 3 years ago I had a business deal with two good friends go south and found myself drinking during the day for the first time in my life. I thought it was just temporary because I was upset. Over time I started drinking more and more during the day. And then more at night to "help me sleep" and stop my mind from racing. Up until about a week ago I was drinking an entire bottle of champagne during the day and an entire magnum of wine at night. It was definitely getting worse.
I wasn't sure exactly how bad my problem was until I came to SR. I see myself in so many of the stories and now I just shake my head wondering "what was I thinking?".
I found a lot of reasons to run and hide and avoid my real life and 'who I was' and alcohol was great for that. My big thing was watching TV and gambling online. Those two things combined with alcohol cost me a lot of time and a lot of money, respectively. But I accomplished my mission. I successfully avoided dealing with my life for other three years.
But thanks to the stories I've read and the support I feel from SR, I'm ready to get that life back and be a happy, healthy productive person again... I just hope I can make it. Currently I'm about 10 days sober.