I have been studying and writing on this too.
The first thing I had to accept was that I am an alcoholic. I cannot ever have one drink again. I have a disease of the body and the mind.
As Bill Sees It says "Acceptance and faith are capable of producing 100% sobriety". Also, accepting defeat does not need to be a disaster. It is the beginning of my recovery.
Accepting life on life's terms is a lot harder than accepting that I am an alcoholic. I always want to control things. I am learning to give it over to God. I know when I can do this, (although doing it all the time seems impossible) I will have serenity.
I think acceptance is a gradual process.
I am very interested to read what others have to say about it.