I use to watch intervention just to see them doing drugs. I usually turned it off when they got to the intervention part. I would look up images of crack and go on youtube and watch videos showing crack and use. Sick ..isnt it?
I stopped all that tho.
But I know exactly how you feel. It seemed the more I thought about this recovery thing, the more I wanted to use. Yea. I know exactly how you feel.
I am not sure if its just that I am over the initial shock of it all. Or maybe I have been doing this for a little while now. Back and forth. That all that has worn off now.
I do know that I am def to the point where I am so completely sick of mysefl that I cant even stomach the thought of wanting to use right now. But you know. Thats for now. Today. And tomorrow I will just try and do the same thing as I did to make through today.
Hang in there.