Posted this as well in possibly the wrong thread a little while ago:
Finally, finally struck me after 5+ years of using that I HAD to get sober and get my life back together - too late to save my marriage and family - the divorce will be final in February. We separated over 5 years ago but stayed in close contact and still spend a lot of time together with our young son. She tells me that her codependency kept her from leaving completely long ago - she has a new circle of friends that I am not a part of - in fact they hate me and have been screaming at her to rid herself completely of me.
Starting reading about addiction and copendency after I decided I had to act on 12/24. Everything written from her perspective says to cut contact with me and I know in her heart that this is what she wants - and has been inching towards - I read that people like me are manupulative, life suckers, users and liers. ugh - just ugh I told her I need the book on chemotheraphy written from the perspective of the cancer.
I need help to recover and she is my only friend and I am terrified of life with no contact with her........yet this is what she desires.
I dont know what to do - ask for her support or try this alone and afraid and possibly doomed to failure.
any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I want to be a nice guy again someday -