The loss of a child is something I cannot even begin to fathom. Many marriages don't survive it, for various reasons. Everyone needs to grieve in their own way, but from what I've read of your posts, it doesn't sound like your husband has allowed himself to grieve. I don't mean to sound harsh or frighten you, but his stunt on Christmas Eve almost sounds to me like a suicide attempt. He needs to grieve, but it sounds like he's not allowing himself to do that. It would be normal for him to be depressed after all that has happened, but depression can be dangerous. Unfortunately, you can only control yourself and your actions. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this and my heart goes out to you. Please take care of yourself.