Hi Hansen
welcome to SR
For me just 'not drinking' was never enough. I believe I drank to fill a void - when I stopped drinking I had to start work on the underlying factors.
For me, that was finding a meaning in a sober life.
I have the kind of life I always dreamed of and I'm closer now than ever to being the man I want to be - I wouldn't swap this life for my old one ever.
I had to work for it, but it's been worth it.
I hope you decide to stick with it - alcoholism is a progressive disease - it never gets better.
D