Will share this in a meeting when the opportunity arises:-)
Forgot to add the belonging bit all ties into the below. An example, my last gf had 2 kids...things got rough of course as they always did, for me it was the fear of losing the 'family' thing, contact with the 2 kids (mind you they were older kids), the not going round her entire family's house for xmas etc that was the killer, this remained long after i had any further interest in her at all. Looking back it has always been about that, even with some friends...always wanting to be accepted and to get on with the family to have that sense of belonging. The people didn't really matter it was what came with them, this is why it is so important to deal with the stuff below because, for me, from that comes that absolute need for the belonging when really i should have been looking for the belonging (well actually i shouldnt be looking for it in the future with some serious work and His help) from them...
ok won't hijack thread anymore, just in case anyone is thinking what the hell does that have to do with belonging:-)