I definitely find everyone's point of views interesting....
and I suppose the thing I question in my own situation is that my A seemed to be drawn to someone who he could control really.
But from your experiences and knowledge, typically they want someone who will ultimately take care of them. Who is independant and secure financially.
Well, my A really brought is gf down here to isolate her from her family, states away, and in his description of her to me, he said he would even have to teach her to drive on the freeways here, as she's not from a large area I guess.
He's the one with the job now, he paid his own bills, though DEFINITELY did not want to be alone as he would tell me. She didn't have a job.
So it's almost strange to me, though I guess it shouldn't be, he wants someone who he can control, who NEEDS him. She is completely dependent on him here.
And I say isolate because I remember him telling me that when he lived where she lived, the big problems in their relationship were HER family and HER friends and ex boyfriends. So now that he has her here, he doesn't have to worry about that stuff....according to him.
When he decided to come clean about his feelings for her too, he said that he had had spies watching her ever since they had been seperated....so he knows she didnt cheat on him.
WOW! He doesn't want an enabler, he wants a hostage.