Originally Posted by
still_me 
Thank you all for your suggestions, advice and support. i DO want to quit i guess i just start feeling like such crap I take a couple shots to feel better and next thing I know,....well I don't know what i've done for hours. I honestly feel I need help to stop, be locked somewhere where I can't drink for a couple weeks and then I feel I'll have a chance. Maybe that is the chicken **** way out, I don't know, I just know I'm at the end of my rope and need to do whatever has to be done to quit drinking. I will die from this whether from the booze or my own hands. I guess their both the same though aren't they?
Hi Still me,
I'm 6 days home from a 28 day recovery program and my heart breaks for you.
I had to ask for help. I was so depressed and sick, just plain sick, I couldn't stop crying and I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. So with the help of my husband, mom and a dear friend who suggested this particular recovery center a friend of hers had gone to....I made the call. I had tried to sober up on my own and I too needed a place away from all things familiar and to be protected from making "another" last trip to the store.
I went in on November 23rd and came home December 21st. The recovery center helped me detox safely and gave me much needed counseling and helped me get established into the 12 step program AA and NA. I'm so thankful I was able to go and for me what made all the difference was finding my spirituality again and the first 3 steps are an excellent guide to seeking out your higher power.
Check out this link in SR
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Find a meeting and go. Find a sponsor that will help you work the steps and possibly help you get into a detox and recovery center. You mentioned a drug and alcohol counselor you are working with. That counselor can and will help you get into a recovery center you just have to make the decision and do it.
Hope this helps! Take care!
Karen