Wow, it sounds a lot like my husband before he was in recovery. Now that he is in recovery it is often not that he quits on the relationship but insists that we are not on the same page.... no kidding! But that is true only while he is angry for something I said or did. When he is ok everything is fine.
It is amazing that many commented on having the same "spouse".
What has helped me to this point - was to set limits with him just as you did. I also took his responses seriously. Whether or not this helped him gain his sobriety or not I can't say but he often tells me that he resents the way I handled his drinking - while everyone else enabled him - I did not. My thoughts are this, he can't take you seriously unless you take yourself seriously. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If he leaves - he will have no one else to blame his behavior on and just maybe he will see more clearly what his problem is. If not, my heart and prayers are with you either way.