Thank you all for your suggestions, advice and support. i DO want to quit i guess i just start feeling like such crap I take a couple shots to feel better and next thing I know,....well I don't know what i've done for hours. I honestly feel I need help to stop, be locked somewhere where I can't drink for a couple weeks and then I feel I'll have a chance. Maybe that is the chicken **** way out, I don't know, I just know I'm at the end of my rope and need to do whatever has to be done to quit drinking. I will die from this whether from the booze or my own hands. I guess their both the same though aren't they?