I miss the potential of my XAH but that is not who he IS. They have to blame you to take the focus off of them. He had my self-esteem down so bad I couldn't see he was bad FOR me. I miss who he was when we first got married before he went downhill into the substance abuse,low morals,unhealthy friends,porn addiction,driving under the influence, totally selfish. I was afraid to be financially merged with him because of his choices. Once he brought home a stupid knife collection $$$ and he would turn off the hot water heater.....hum.....cold showers,washing dishes with cold water????? but this expensive knife collection sitting on the coffee table........Real dumb s--- I could not live with anymore......aaahhhhhhhhhhhh peace on earth and in my house.....no more quacking........