I need to stop
Heavy drinking has been a part of my life since I was in college. Every weekend I would end up drinking huge amounts of alcohol in the weekends, which wasn't unusual I guess, and waking up remembering nothing of the "fun" we had the night before. It was always a social thing back then though, and it wasn't as if I was the only one.
When I graduated and moved overseas to work, this pattern continued. Alcohol was cheap and accessible where I was living. Same thing - sober during the week and then getting hammered during the weekend. The difference was, I was often doing this by myself in my apartment - coming home with a 12 pack, finishing it off, and then going out to buy more.
Then I went travelling for an extended period of time. While travelling, I would always end the day with beers in a local bar, or a bottle of wine I brought back to my accomodation. Drinking had now become a daily habit.
When I returned from travel, I resumed this new-found habit. It wasn't too bad at first - I came home with 3 cans of beers every night. (I was also drinking more heavily in the weekends). Then that became a six pack every night. Then two six packs every night. I woke up every morning and went to work hungover. God knows how I kept my job - I was usually unable to work effectively before the afternoon.
The last year I've been drinking wine a lot - lately two bottles a night. That's 16 standard drinks a night. That's 112 standard drinks a week! I feel terrible. I don't read any more. I watch TV but don't remember anything I have watched. I chat to friends online, but have no recollection of the conversation.
I had my first alcohol free day in years on December 25th (Christmas). I don't know my I chose Christmas. It's been two days without a drink, and I'm starting my third. Waking up without a hangover has been a revelation! I feel like I've slept better - I'm even dreaming! I haven't dreamt in years!
I'm determined to get through my third day!