Neo,
I understand how you're feeling, you're too young to act like the old codgers you see in AA. But you have so much to do in this life, and you can do it sober and clean, with a clear head and a strong, healthy body. You've got the world at your feet, man!
I wish I would have "got it" at an earlier age, maybe my brain wouldn't be so fried. Alcoholics that quit later have only past regrets to live with and a beat up body that they try to rehab back into shape.
You can do anything and be anything you want to in this life and you've got the time to do it.
Don't throw a young life away on booze, it's just not worth it.