Neo, I'm one of the 25+ older people and I completely understand, relate, & sympathize with everything you've said. Those were my thoughts exactly. It truly is a grieving process for us.
Knowing the feelings don't stay that intense doesn't change the way you're feeling right now. The thoughts you're having need to be acknowledged & I'm glad you shared this with us. This is the dangerous stage, where many of us question what we're accomplishing. This Christmas is so much better for me than last holiday season, when all I did was feel sorry for myself and a sense of loss. I think nostalgia for the old days will always creep into our thoughts - but as we build our new life we get stronger & more confident that we've done the right thing. We have to keep remembering what the partying led to - which is what you're doing. It's the only way. You are doing great, be proud.