Wow MG - what a powerful post - I am going to "sticky' this to the top.
I am hooked by several...and not at all by some.
"Helplessness and Neediness" is a big hook for me, but strangely not at all the "Need To Be Needed". I would LOVE not to be needed for even a short time. I don't want to be needed, as a matter of fact I am really tired of being needed.
"Fear of Negative Actions" - big hook with my addict son. I fear for his future, health-wise, jail, consequences of his addiction.
"Idealism Thinking" - Another big hook, when he is clean we have such a special wonderful relationship, and I would like that to be a lifetime thing. Not likely to happen. And I fear him simply disappearing with his addiction, and having no relationship at all.
I am printing this one out for future reference. It is worth a lot of thought as many of these points are part of the very core of my codependency. I have a LOT of work to do.
Thank you so much...this was a lot of work for you.