djdonee

I am 34 yrs old. I am almost 5 months sober now. I was drinking at least 1 pint of vodka a day and sometimes 2. Got to where if i had to be at work at 7:00 am i was drinking on the way to keep the withdrawals away. this went on for over a year. Got to where i was having withdrawals and panic attacks even when i was drinking so i decided to quit. was misdirected and couldnt get into treatment so i detoxed at home and went through hell... i mean places in my mind and body i never want to be again. most of you know what im talking about, its awful. Constant panic and anxiety non stop also. had to go to the ER 5 times in a month. anyways it has slowly got better but am still having alot of anxiety and sometimes debilitating panic attacks. im still scared to get too far from the house in fear of having an attack. i feel like im never going to get any better. nothing but negative thoughts . sometimes i do have my good speels but most of the time if im feeling good im still worrying when the next attack is going to happen. im also having alot of weird dizzy feelings maybe from the anxiety im not sure and sometimes i feel like im in a dream, a very bad dream. im going to a state funded psychiatrist that looks at his watch ever couple of minutes and never seems to give a damn about what im trying to tell him. ive called many many places even rehabs to ask them if what im going thru is normal and noone seems to know any answers. im scared to death im going to be stuck like this the rest of my life and have irrepairable brain damage. all i can say is thank god im not suicidal. i love life and the people in it, its just this fear and anxiety. can anyone relate with this and give some hopefully positive feedback or experiences theyve had? or links? i am going to meetings and have a sponsor. thanks in advance

Donny