Thanks for all the great replies
What I ended up doing is just quitting cold turkey. I couldn't really afford the 250 per month and I have read it is still somewhat hard to get offsuboxone, ANyways day 1 was hell, day 2 is more hell, including vomiting and diarreah, I almost feel like giving up. I do not think I would actually commit suicide but I am coming close to calling 911 and tell them I can not handle it. If even htere was 5 minutes of my day where I felt a bit of relief that would be one thing but this has been 48 hours constant hell.