hi sunshinebaby
Welcome to SR. Good to have another Aussie here.
I didn't like the man alcohol made me into - even on the very rare occasions when I was sober, I was still irritable and cross and sometimes nasty because I wanted to be drinking.
I couldn't keep living that way. Things had to change.
It was hard to change my life - really hard sometimes - but it was the best thing I ever did.
I'm still no saint, but I like who I am - that was a real revelation for me when I realised it, and I knew I'd really made some serious strides.
You'll find a lot of support and help here - I did - and like Lenina says, you might find some face to face support is beneficial to you too
Keep reading and posting sunshinebaby - and Merry Christmas!
D