Dream,
You can do this! Just look around this board, it's full of miracles! So many of us have recovery! Most of us never thought it would be possible, yet here we are! So, there's no reason why you shouldn't be one of us who has sobriety and joy in our lives!
For me, I needed help. I tried many times to go it alone and couldn't. I needed a plan and program of recovery. Have you ever used AA or NA? Now would be a good time to look into those programs. They are free!
Please be gentle with yourself. Continue to post and read the posts of others. We are here for you!
Love,
Lenina