SR Friends,
I am planning or AM making tomorrow my day 1 of NO ALCOHOL. I have of substance problems that need to be addressed and I have started to wean off them.
Today I had about 1/4th of the amount of alcohol I drink (beer only) and I know I should speak w/ my Dr. before doing this but unfortunately having lost my job over 1 year ago I have no insurance (and no jobs in my industry offer insurance any longer anyway) except for the job I got last week that I am afraid I will now not get b.c of my drug test, I am prescribed all of my meds due to back surgery 1 year ago as well but they did not provide me the opportunity to list the meds nor have I hear from them yet when I was supposed to and the hiring manager always emailed me back within 5 min, of my previous emails) so I am afraid something is wrong.
Regardless back to day 1 no alcohol tomorrow I KNOW I will not be able to keep the job if I am given it (that is not my only reason for needing to quit but it is also a great motivation) I NEED recovery and I CNA NOT DRINK TOMORROW. (As soon as I typed that something in my head listed a time that said will not until _____ time) THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD AND I NEED HELP.
The first step for me is quitting tomorrow so I can save my health, family pride, and overall life and be the mother, daughter, sister and friend I used to be before all of this time where my drinking has become my career while trying to get back into my career.
So tomorrow WILL be day 1 for me please provide any motivation, recommendation, (not medical advice I know
just support and anything that you can share to get me through my day 1.
I feel like I am begging here and being selfish so I am sorry for that but I know I am headed for death if I continue living this way and going in the direction my life is.
I just need the SR help I got years ago, that I did get here and way able to stay alcohol free (for only 30 days 4 times in 1 and 1.2 years of my adult life except for when I was preggo and had NOTHING for 8.5 months.
I know I am being repetitive for those who have (and thank you for that) been reading my posts over the last couple weeks after I made this decision but was still drinking heavily.
I am not up to a minimum of 15 (16 oz.) beers a day AT LEAST.
I know CT IS dangerous but so is the life I am leading for myself and especially my 3 year old daughter right now
PLEASE HELP ME B/C I WANT A BEER NOW AND AM ALMOST CONSIDERING GOING TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW
What is wrong with me? You don’t have to answer that I am an alcoholic and Addict that’s why I am here and that is why tomorrow is day CT NO alcohol for me.
Sorry so long, but posting helps, so please forgive me.
PLEASE wish me luck; say a prayer and God please help me get through my day 1 that would be 12/23/09. Just for tomorrow for now. I just have to get through 1 day, why is the first day so hard? Again no need to answer I KNOW
So many thanks from the bottom of my heart to all of you SR strangers yet friends. With you and I will be going to AA or NA again very soon, hoping for right after Christmas.
Thank you,
Dreams