Thank you humblebee for sharing with me. I am through my fourth day sober and really still very sick. I went to work Saturday and Sunday and was off Monday and Tuesday.
I'm still numb and shaky. This is so very bad, but I am determined to get through this.
My oldest son has stolen from my bank account. He put me about 400 bucks in the hole. When I asked him why, he told me because I got drunk and so he decided to do drugs again.
It is hard to sort through what is my fault and what he has used as an excuse just to use again.
What a mess this is.
I know I cannot make anything better by drinking again. Waiting through the long hours of withdrawal is hell. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But wait I will. I have gotten a glimpse of feeling better and the fear and pain and anxiety lessening if I give it time.
I do want to stay sober more then I want to drink, but it is really hard. I remember what is said here and at AA meetings that I have gone to. The cravings won't last forever. And they don't. I haven't dared leave my house for the last days off for fear of heading to the nearest liquor store. I just won't go there.
I do not know what to do about my current financial situation, but because I still have a job (I have no idea why) I know I can work on it a little at a time.
Please pray for me and/or send healing energy my way. I need it.