I just want to get out of debt, make my movies and be happy and healthy again. But I feel like it might be too late. I don't know how to come back from this. Maybe I have more problems than just my drinking and nothing will improve even if I do quit.
I've gained 20 pounds and I generally feel like a piece of crap. I'm losing my looks, my health, and recently discovered I'm losing one of my best friends who is dying from alcoholism. I had ended our friendship when I saw him drinking himself to death 4 years ago and I couldn't stand by and watch it when he clearly demonstrated that he did not want to be helped. Now I fear I am becoming him and I really want a drink right now.