I'm like ((Teke)) - I'm an RA (recovering addict) and my family let me fall on my face and figure out how to pick myself back up, and I will forever be grateful. Had they given me a place to stay, food to eat, etc. while I was using, I'd probably still be using.
We A's (addicts) are sneaky and manipulative. We will hide and protect our addiction at any cost. We don't do this to hurt our loved ones...we really don't. It has nothing to do with you...it's just that using is all we can think of. For me, when I would do something that I knew would have consequences down the road, I'd just think "I'll deal with that later...when I get clean" and keep on using.
I also have loved ones who are A's and I'm a recovering codie. I know both sides of addiction, and they're both tough. Even knowing how I thought, as an A, it's hard to watch my loved on do things, and step back. However, with the great people here, I've learned a lot and am much better at it.
I don't know what your son's DOC (drug of choice) is, but some A's will steal whatever they can to sell for dope. Please keep this in mind while he is in your house, or even if he leaves your house...if he still has a key.` When addiction is involved, you can pretty much whipe out the thought of saying "my son would NEVER do that"...I did things I never thought I'd do.
I'm not trying to bring you down...I just want you to be aware of where addiction leads. The more you know about it, the more you can reach out for support and learn to set boundaries...focus on yourself, and let him do what he's going to do, because he is, anyway.
Facing consequences of my using is what led to me hitting bottom, as it is for most addicts. Realizing that my family went on with their life, gave me something that I wanted to be part of, again, once I got into recovery and the fog lifted from my brain.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy