Hey Dub,
I'm a newbe and saw your post. What I've learned in my short time of being sober is "I have the power to take control" I guess I felt for so long that I couldn't go a day without drinking but after awhile I realized it was all bs and that I have a choice which has empowered me. I guess what I'm trying to say is you obviously exercised this power in the past so you know deep inside you can do it again. Hang in there you can do it!
JR