it's hard to get over that feeling of doom Jade...but it's one of the factors that can bring us back to drinking if we don't let it go and move on.
There's nothing you can do about what you've done except learn the lessons that I'm sure are there.
I used to post here and help others out. It not only helped others but it got me out of my own head a little, and made me feel less down on myself too.
D