Hi mama!
Yes looking at and choosing our partner today is a great way to stay firmly in reality.
And it wasn't until I began looking hard at my own daily actions too that real change started brewing! I had so many things I wanted to do and try in my life and time was just slipping by because I would waste hours and hours in a funk about my brothers or wrapped up in their drama running around for them or just obsessing and - well you know!
Now I really don't allow myself the false luxury of denial! How I spend my day and the thoughts I think are nobody's fault but mine. I am free to choose!
peace--b