Go Skroom!
Grats on 11 days man. I like hearing the action you are taking, like the gym and meetings.
I don't know if this will make any sense to you, but once I was explaining to my sponsor much like you explained: "feeling depressed, anxious, and fiending..I fantasize about using all day long. I try not to think about it, to distract myself with other things, etc but it does not seem to work."
He said "It sounds like you are trying to control your sobriety." For a split second I understood what he meant then I lost grasp of it.
Today I understand it much better. It means instead of living in the exact moment of now with my eyes and mind focused on what's going on in front of me, I tend to drift into my own self absorbed fantasy. I'll miss the next 30seconds or so of reality trying to form it into what I wished it would be.
I've found it still takes a certain level of attention to stay focused and not drift into denial on many an occasion. Especially and in particular when I don't like what's going on in front of me. The good news I've learned is I don't have to like or dislike anything, I just have to accept it. Also I don't have to get emotionally involved in anyting unless I choose to. All I really have to do is be an observer.
In summary what I'm trying to say is it's hard for us to let go, relax, and stay in the moment. This is understandable since we previously spent so much time controlling the way we feel.
I don't know if that makes any sense or not. In fact it's kinda freaking me out as I re-read it. But I'll leave it there in hopes that maybe you'll kinda get the drift of what I'm trying to say.