Well I was at a point where there were days I could not get drunk no matter how much I drank followed by days where I would easily get drunk off of 7 or 8. I also drank every day, I did this for 5 years, many times I drank when I did not want to drink.
I had spent many years fighting it, trying to control it, and I came to the realization that I could not even stop for a day even, I surrendered to alcohol, I just made a decision that I was going to stop fighting and just drink... it was an actual relief to me to do this. In about a week things changed.
My wife came home from work and told me that her and the kids would be moving out at the end of the month because she was not going to allow the kids to watch me drink myself to death.
My initial reaction to this was "Cool, now I can drink in the house and no one will "B" at me. I went out to the garage and popped another top to celebrate my soon to be new found freedom!
Well some time out there in that garage I had a moment of clarity, my future life flashed before me. I knew I was losing my family, the next thing would be my job, then my house, then my truck. I found myself standing at the edge of a cliff, if I continued to drink I went over the cliff into a slow, lonely, painful death from my alcoholism.
This scared the crap out of me, I did not want to die. I finally saw that if I wanted to live I needed to get and stay sober no matter what!
Well I had surrendered, I was finally at the jumping off point, I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober............ problem was I had no idea how to even begin. I called the alcohol & drug hotline on the back of my insurance card and it went like this:
Doctor-Detox-AA-Taking the steps of AA-LIFE Free of the bonds of my alcoholism and myself.