I am not a drinker. I am an addict. I had so many things happen that should have scared me strait. But it didnt. I think for me it has been the disappointment in myself and the disappointment from my family, the thought of maybe losing them if I dont get it together is really what is motivating me now. Death wouldnt even get it through my head. But I am just at a point where I am just so flippin sick and tired of the BS cycle. I am exhausted. And I dont want to look back and regret all this valuable time I should be spending enjoing my family.